Malto Mario


Feast


The Lady & Sons


1,000 Italian Recipes

Friday, February 29, 2008

Oh That Julia...

I'm on 4 hours sleep and 2 cups of exceptionally strong coffee right now. As my dad use to say.. I don't know if I'm punched nor bored. Whatever that meant. But I always remember him saying it when someone didn't know what the fakk they were doing. HAR!

Bread. Yeast. Lisa. Panic. Nail-biting. Nerves. Dropping things. Kitchen prayers to the Yeastie Gods.

Daring Bakers - Feb Challenge - French Bread (2)

Bread makes me sweat. Yanno? I don't really know why as it is truly an easy thing to make. My Gawd, prep time is like 1.5 minutes and the rest is just days of waiting. Okay well maybe I'm exaggerating some.. but it feels like that's the usual scenario when I'm baking bread. Hurry up and wait!

And holy bejesus this recipe was all about the wait. First rise.. 4.5 hours. The recipe called for 3 hours (I believe? I'm mental right now, kids!) but my dough had not tripled so I let it go an extra hour & a half. Second rise.. 3 hours. Again, I went over because my yeasties were taking their own sweet fakkin time. My guess is the house was a bit chillier than normal, although I can not be sure as I baked my bread a couple weeks ago and can't remember exactly what I did or what happened.

I CAN NOT REMEMBER WHAT I WORE TO WORK YESTERDAY - DO NOT JUDGE ME.

Now before I go on.. lemme thank our lovely hostesses, Mary of The Sour Dough and Sara of I like to cook, for a great challenge! And thank YOU wee baby jebus, for whispering into Mary's ear "NO sourdough.. Lisa still hasn't gotten over killing her last one." :P

*sob*

***crickets***

Moving right along...

Daring Bakers - Feb Challenge - French Bread

So what I do remember is that things went along swimmingly, other than the retarded rises. But it was at the shaping and final upside down rise that everything went to hell in a handbasket.

My first boule was not "tight" - I didn't grasp the concept of rolling/passing it between my palms to get that tight membrane once I flipped it over. I did a little better with the 2nd boule, but in the end this is what I got:

Daring Bakers - Feb Challenge - French Bread (1)

And no, those are not my silicone breast implants laying on a bed of flour and covered in plastic wrap. YOU'RE NOT FUNNY. I don't have breast implants!!

Potato bread - Nicoise & Gruyere
The return of the phantom Smudge. :P

Mmm hmmm.. pretty farkin flat they were. Which is exactly the way my boules from the Potato bread challenge turned out as well. 'Sup with that? Am I fondling my faux breasts too aggressively?

My boules did rise once they hit the heat, but they were still pretty tiny. I should have made just one big round French-named shape. BUT all was not lost, although thin and mammory-like looking, they were delicious. We thought a tad bit on the salty side, but we love salt.. so that was a good thing. The crust was crisp and chewy and the inside had lots of bubbles, which I adore. And strangely, as most ppl would say the bread tasted excellent after first cut, we think it was 1000x's better the next evening as garlic toast. Best garlic toast we've ever had! So much so, that I froze the 2nd boule for our next spag & balls night. :)

Daring Bakers - Feb Challenge - French Bread (4)

There you have it my friends.. a rather uneventful (at least I think?) challenge.. the fear is all in my mind which is silly because making bread is nothing to be scared of. Great big thanks to Mary & Sara.. you gals rock!

Daring Bakers - Feb Challenge - French Bread (5)

Can't wait for March's challenge.. I hear it's going to be delightful! ;)

Okay.. I'm done.. go start clickin' - over there -> well over 600 amazing blogs to choose from! And start planning accordingly now.. close to 800 next month kids. :D The Daring Bakers.. We WILL rule the planet one day!! MUAHAHAHAHAAA! Can you imagine? A world filled with nothing but bakers. Wait. What's that? Ohhh.. that's just my hips and ass sobbing. :P

xoxo

HOLY CRAP - I forgot to mention.. Argh. Sleep.. blessed sleep.. I forgot to mention that this recipe is from none other than the lovely Julia Child and if you'd like the recipe, click on over here for it. :)

Labels: ,

Comments on "Oh That Julia..."

 

Blogger Texana said ... (2/29/2008 8:05 AM) : 

Hey, as Mom used to say, the proof is in the eating. If it tastes good, who cares how it looked before it was cut! What time was that spaghetti dinner?
Hugs

 

Blogger Gretchen Noelle said ... (2/29/2008 8:09 AM) : 

They tasted good, that is the important part! I always love to read your posts, they leave me chuckling every time!

 

Anonymous Ann said ... (2/29/2008 8:40 AM) : 

Oh thank heavens I am not the only one who got a flat frisbee instead of a nice round loaf! I also lost the plot when I got to the shaping and last rise (we won't even discuss trying to move the loaf to the baking sheet). Your photo looks a lot like my single large loaf looked! Only not as pale and anemic as mine. Plus your slashes look professional. Mine looked like I was channeling Lizzie Borden. :-)

But wasn't it AMAZING when you tasted it?

 

Blogger Mary said ... (2/29/2008 8:50 AM) : 

I think your bread looks great! I made 3 boules too and mine turned out just as flat.

And the picture of the killed starter cracks me up.

 

Anonymous Mellie said ... (2/29/2008 8:54 AM) : 

Oh man, I should hv joined daring bakers EARLIER! Can´t believe I missed out on baking baguettes. *sigh* THere´s always a next time, I suppose. Great job, Lisa.. the crumbs look superb!

 

Blogger Veron said ... (2/29/2008 9:06 AM) : 

Your loaves look gorgeous,sis! I love that crumb, mines was pretty close knit. I guess that brain we share...You've got all the bread baking skills all to your self! Mine turned out a bit...uh...kinda retarded.

 

Blogger Sarah said ... (2/29/2008 9:16 AM) : 

Your bread looks great...hope you get sleep soon!

 

Anonymous abby said ... (2/29/2008 9:19 AM) : 

great boules! they don't look flat to me - maybe i have to compare them to than you;)

 

Blogger Aran Goyoaga said ... (2/29/2008 9:33 AM) : 

Very nice crumb in that bread!

 

Blogger Tartelette said ... (2/29/2008 9:41 AM) : 

Oh thank God you found my breast implants! Been looking everywhere for them!! :)
The bread turned out wonderful...and butter....makes everything bettah!!

 

Blogger MyKitchenInHalfCups said ... (2/29/2008 9:48 AM) : 

Lisa - I don't want to disappoint you or make you feel bad because you don't seem to realize that you have PERFECT crumb there girl!!
And as always you make me laugh out loud!!
The dead starter is priceless! as are the mammaries who ever they belong to!

 

Blogger Anne said ... (2/29/2008 9:58 AM) : 

It's such a pleasure reading your post:) The loaves are lovely!

 

Blogger Megan said ... (2/29/2008 10:22 AM) : 

Funny post! My two lumps looked like yours but I never thought of them looking as size small breast implants. But ya know, now that I think about it...

 

Anonymous Breadchick said ... (2/29/2008 10:30 AM) : 

I'd say you and the yeast gods are getting to be better friends! And I thought about "sourdough" but decided I didn't want to traumatize you twice in a six month span.

Thank you so much Lisa for letting us host this month. It was fun and we are glad the group has become such a hit!

 

OpenID stacielk said ... (2/29/2008 10:31 AM) : 

Too funny.

 

Blogger BitterSweet said ... (2/29/2008 10:42 AM) : 

Haha, what a great story! I'm glad it ultimately worked out for you- looks delicious, that's for sure!

 

Blogger Judy @ No Fear Entertaining said ... (2/29/2008 11:17 AM) : 

Oh your bread looks wonderful...I am so sad that I couldn't do this one!!! I am sure the taste was incredible!

 

Anonymous Joy the Baker said ... (2/29/2008 11:39 AM) : 

Your crumb looks gorgeous! I think you were too hard on yourself and your implant breads! Hilarious post, as always. And I can't wait for next month!

 

Blogger Gabi said ... (2/29/2008 11:43 AM) : 

heeeee * tears streaming* I roll on the floor at your posts! You got a nice crumb and your bread is beautiful! Thanks for the mammaries! Hoohoo!
x x x

 

Blogger Beth G. said ... (2/29/2008 12:01 PM) : 

They look fabulous to me! As long as it tastes good, it's all good!! GREAT JOB :O)

 

Blogger Brilynn said ... (2/29/2008 12:10 PM) : 

Garlic bread! Mmmmm...

 

Blogger Annemarie said ... (2/29/2008 12:45 PM) : 

I love it that things 'went to hell in a handbasket' but overall it was still an 'uneventful' challenge. :) Your breads looked great, but even if they didn't they still helped you produce this post, and THAT alone was worth it.:)

 

Blogger Andrea said ... (2/29/2008 1:04 PM) : 

Oh, I bet the garlic bread was fab! Your bread looks great, girl! Whose mammaries were those...?

 

Anonymous leafy bombshell said ... (2/29/2008 1:12 PM) : 

Oh! Yours looks so bubbly and pretty! Too bad they didn't come up as much as you would have liked. It's kinda funny how many lost sleep, stressed on sizes and thought their loaves came out seemingly so pitiful.

 

Blogger Tracy said ... (2/29/2008 1:26 PM) : 

Your breast implant comment cracked me up. You and I must think alike. I made two balls (boules?) and one batard and boy oh boy did I have a hard time not coming up with phallic photos. OK, I actually took some phallic photos but I didn't post them! :-)

Anyway, you did a great job! We also thought they were salty. My son thought that was great, my husband said too salty. Ya can't please them all!

 

Blogger Namratha said ... (2/29/2008 1:32 PM) : 

The bread looks fabulous Lis, what are you groaning about? :D

Breast implants....hmmmph!:D

 

Blogger Sara said ... (2/29/2008 2:07 PM) : 

You are too funny! Great looking boobs, I mean bread! Thanks for the whole DB thing, by the way. ;)

 

Blogger Meeta said ... (2/29/2008 2:42 PM) : 

Your boobs look great - er - bread I mean. And you forgot Julia who cares after I was finished this bread I forgot where and who I was! You did a lovely job though and it's the taste that counts.

800!!!! So what that's all of the food blog world now right?

 

Anonymous Rivka said ... (2/29/2008 3:04 PM) : 

Your bread is beautiful -- a nice, healthy shmear of butter never hurts! Cheers :)

 

Blogger slush said ... (2/29/2008 3:18 PM) : 

Your breads innards are so light and fluffy looking. Fab job!

 

Blogger Cheryl said ... (2/29/2008 3:31 PM) : 

Look at you over there molesting those breast implants in the flour. I sure won't judge.

Your bread is freakin fabulous. It sure sounds like a good idea making it into garlic bread.

 

Blogger Judy said ... (2/29/2008 3:35 PM) : 

Come to think of it, my 3rd batch was 2 boules and a batard. Better check my photos again. And, wouldn't you know, I ate the batard first. Love your story and the touchy-feely bread experience.

 

Blogger Katie B. said ... (2/29/2008 3:43 PM) : 

We should form a "We smoosh our bread boobies too much and end up with teensy loaves" club. Or, WSOBBTMAEUWTL for short. :)

 

Blogger kellypea said ... (2/29/2008 4:37 PM) : 

Yes! World dominatrix...er...um...domination. People would be so much happier with bakers in charge. But you're so right. Hips and thighs would weep. And underarms, waistlines...Bread! I'm supposed to be writing about your bread. I made small boules, too, Lis, and think one bit mammary would have been better...Yours are looking nice, though. The salt was great, wasn't it?

 

Blogger Sandicita said ... (2/29/2008 4:56 PM) : 

I'm sorry your boules came out flat! My bread was also on the salty side but that's what made it great.
Thanks for founding the DB. It brings a bit of joy (and anxiety) to every month.

 

Blogger creampuff said ... (2/29/2008 5:38 PM) : 

You're just so funny! And you have nothing to sweat about because your bread is beyond gorgeous! Seriously!

 

Blogger Baking Soda said ... (2/29/2008 6:19 PM) : 

Mammory looking balls of dough... I'll remember that one! Lisa, over 800? Now I'm sobbing...you know the price of wheat has gone up tremendously over the past months?
Want to guess why?
Mooohhahahaaaaa

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (2/29/2008 7:30 PM) : 

From Paris France, just popping in to say hello,

GirlPower!

On this very occasion, I'll definetely not try and resist giving you da French finest on everyday basis slang.

Ohlala! Your "Boules" thing, for any French reader here would sounds the funniest.

"Boules" stands for huevos, which, I assume, still lets us sort of on cooking ground. Still...

Thank you for the fun!


Donquichette,
Available for a any further French Giggle Search. Anytime! lol

 

Blogger Elle said ... (2/29/2008 8:00 PM) : 

Ah, slathered in butter and garlic...what a life for a lovely breast like bowling ball of a bread. Taste (and Julia) can't be beaten. As usual your post gets extra points for causing huge amounts of laughter...good on ya.

 

Blogger Lesley said ... (2/29/2008 8:47 PM) : 

You got some pretty nice holes in that bread! It may have been a long time to make but it looks divine! Brava!

 

Blogger Mer said ... (2/29/2008 8:59 PM) : 

I love your writing style. Very entertaining. Good job on your bread - I agree that taste is the main thing. :0)

 

Blogger Half Baked said ... (2/29/2008 8:59 PM) : 

my round bread was rather flat as well, I thought it was just me:) Your bread looks great! It was really good huh?!?

 

Blogger glamah16 said ... (2/29/2008 9:48 PM) : 

Your crumb turned out so nice! I wanted those airy hole you got. Great job.

 

Blogger smoykim said ... (2/29/2008 9:59 PM) : 

Lurker de-lurking here. Just had to say this was one of the funniest, wittiest posts I've read in awhile (yes, I do read more than 1 or 2 blogs). :) I don't think I'll ever look at a pair of resting, rounded mounds of dough the same again.

 

Blogger Chris said ... (2/29/2008 10:06 PM) : 

You are a funny girl, my friend. looks great - I would like to do a boule next time.

 

Blogger jasmine said ... (2/29/2008 10:13 PM) : 

Sweetie...

I laughed so hard I started crying.

Of course, when I saw your little chicken fillits, I wondered what my falsie overhead lamps were doing in your kitchen (my condo is filled with booby lamps (very cold boobie lamps) and falsie lamps)...and then I read your prose...


BEEEG hugs

j

 

Anonymous Carrie said ... (2/29/2008 10:24 PM) : 

Looks good to me!

 

Blogger Marce said ... (2/29/2008 10:33 PM) : 

you had me at "silicon implants" ;)

 

Anonymous Dayna said ... (3/01/2008 12:08 AM) : 

My goodness that looks good.
I can smell the old country...

 

Blogger KJ said ... (3/01/2008 2:04 AM) : 

Well, I think your bread looks great. Just how bread should look. Delicious.

 

Blogger Quellia said ... (3/01/2008 8:10 AM) : 

Lisa, you are a hoot, as usual!
Shall I bring you some of Marvin when we finally get together? :-)

 

Blogger marias23 said ... (3/01/2008 1:48 PM) : 

I thought we rule the world already? :)

The blog world, that is *winks*

 

OpenID culinography said ... (3/01/2008 4:10 PM) : 

Funniest bread post of the challenge, my dear! Loved it and love your bread!

 

Blogger Jenny said ... (3/01/2008 8:40 PM) : 

You make me laugh. I had to go look at the post from last October to laugh some more. :)

But your bread this time looks terrific, particularly the dough halfway through - lovely and smooth!

 

Blogger Peabody said ... (3/01/2008 9:41 PM) : 

Thank goodness those are not fake boobs...it would be odd if people were eating your chest...though you could make a lot of money on the internet. :P
Job well done....Julia would love it.

 

Blogger Kelly-Jane said ... (3/02/2008 6:31 AM) : 

Your did a great job, it looks lovely, and that slice of buttered breat, yum!

 

Blogger Kelly-Jane said ... (3/02/2008 6:31 AM) : 

Your did a great job, it looks lovely, and that slice of buttered breat, yum!

 

Blogger Deborah said ... (3/02/2008 10:39 AM) : 

You make me laugh, like always! Great job!

 

Anonymous Susan said ... (3/02/2008 3:51 PM) : 

I will never look at round loaves the same way again. A world filled with nothing but bakers... sounds good to me!

 

Blogger Faery said ... (3/02/2008 10:25 PM) : 

Your bread looks delicious and beautiful. You know what? I like your posts the way you talk...write.
I do that in Spanish not in English because I'm in the third level ;)

 

Blogger Aparna said ... (3/02/2008 11:21 PM) : 

To me, your bread looks good, and it tasted great right?
You should see my bread, then.
But I've moved on and shall hopefully fare better with the next one.

 

Blogger Marie said ... (3/03/2008 2:19 AM) : 

Ohh, your loaves look lovely! I bet they tasted really good too. Your last photo of it has me wanting some more. I made a big huge boule and it was rather flat as well, although it did taste rather good!

 

Blogger Cakelaw said ... (3/03/2008 7:52 AM) : 

Lisa, you always make me laugh! And I love your honesty. Glad the bread tasted good, regardless of anything else.

 

Blogger Suzana said ... (3/03/2008 5:56 PM) : 

How I love to read your posts!! No matter what you say, I bet the bread was delicious!

 

Blogger Mary said ... (3/03/2008 6:50 PM) : 

It's strange when nothing truly disastrous happens during a DB challenge. But I guess this month was kinda tame. No hot molten sugar or blow torches. Nice job on your bread!

 

Blogger Claire said ... (3/03/2008 7:08 PM) : 

Looks great...especially with that melted butter!

 

Blogger Kevin said ... (3/03/2008 9:47 PM) : 

Nice looking bread. Especially the buttered slice.

 

Blogger african vanielje said ... (3/04/2008 6:13 AM) : 

Your bread looks amazing and I'm glad even an old pro like you still finds mucho coffee necessary to get through a challenge

 

Anonymous joey said ... (3/04/2008 10:05 AM) : 

I know what you mean by the lack of sleep and the coffee...I kinda zombified myself for this but it was worth it! :)

Your bread looks great! Especially with all that glistening butter on it! I shouldn't be reading this late ate night...

 

Anonymous Melissa L. said ... (3/04/2008 10:33 AM) : 

Awesome job, Lis! The bread looks fantastic and SO tasty! I can't wait to do this month's challenge!!!!

 

Blogger Amy said ... (3/04/2008 3:35 PM) : 

That crumb looks perfect! I didn't really understand the shaping part either. :P

 

Blogger Jennywenny said ... (3/05/2008 6:29 PM) : 

Looks pretty good to me too, you got some nice big holes there, which I didnt quite manage. The rounding thing just takes a little practice, I think. I did a class and the chef made sure we got that one drummed in nicely. Well done!

 

Blogger Rosa's Yummy Yums said ... (3/08/2008 4:27 AM) : 

Great looking breads! I'm glad it tasted good! Your loaves have a nice texture...

Cheers,

Rosa

 

post a comment